BEST OF THE BLOTTER 2024

We read, we gasped, we groaned, we laughed. Here are the silliest items to grace the Incident Insider this year.

COMPILED FROM THE YEAR’S REPORTS BY EVE MARX, SCARSDALE’S #1 BLOTTER WRITER

Not stealing 

A Ridgecrest West homeowner Nov. 30 said a man wearing a baseball cap and a blue jacket stole a package off her front steps. The man, police said, was not stealing anything and in fact was a U.S. Postal worker delivering mail in the area. 

And the envelope goes to… someone got scared of the mailman.

Leg pain attributed to radio frequency radiation 

A caller on Bell Road Dec. 1 told police a pain in her leg could be attributed to radio frequency radiation. She said she was in contact with her physician regarding this matter. She wasn’t seeking medical attention but wanted a report made of her allegation. 

WLEG? A woman insisted her leg pain was caused by radio-frequency radiation.

Small appliance vibrating brings firefighters to the residence 

Firefighters went to a residence on White Birch Lane Nov. 25 to investigate an issue with a gas appliance. The resident said the stove was making a strange noise. Police found a battery powered egg beater in a drawer under the stove that was vibrating. No hazards were detected at this time. 

Bad vibes A homeowner thought her stove broke—but the noise was coming from an egg beater.

Alleged toilet paper thief fired 

A caller on Garth Road Nov. 7 reported an employee he believes is stealing items from their store. Although the complainant has no video surveillance or any witnesses, he believes the employee is stealing rolls of toilet paper. He said he is firing the employee. The employee was not on scene while police were being given this information and no further action was necessary. 

A not-so-charmin’ employee A Garth Road store owner said a worker stole toilet paper.

Halloween hater 

Middle school age children were reported being rowdy Oct. 31 at Davis Park on Bradley Road. Police on arrival saw many children of all ages enjoying Halloween festivities. No further action was taken. 

Costume drama People called the cops on kids trick-or-treating.

Strike a pose 

Two kids pretending to be mannequins were reported by a caller Nov. 1 posing on Post Road and Boulevard. The reporting party said when he approached them, they chased his car. Police looked for the kids but didn’t find them. 

You big dummy A pair of kids pranked a man by pretending they were mannequins.

 Not sleeping 

A caller Oct. 9 reported a man sleeping on a bench on Secor Road. Police drove by and the man was upright and using his cellphone. 

Eye-opening discovery A man was reported for sleeping on a bench, but police saw him awake.

 Kids party 

A Berwick Road caller Oct. 13 called 911 to report “30,000 kids” were at a party on her street which she said was littered with bottles thrown in the roadway. Police arrived and saw several kids gathered at the edge of the property line. On police arrival, they immediately dispersed. The homeowner said her son advised her uninvited kids were beginning to show up and decided the party was over and all invited attendees had arranged for their pick up. Police checked the property and saw no kids in need of assistance and it appeared all attendees had dispersed safely. 

Can’t you count? Someone called 911 to report “30,000 kids” at a party on her street.

Nosy 

A caller on Valley Road Oct. 6 reported someone was using her neighbor’s car when she knew her neighbor was away. Police made contact with the homeowner who had just returned from her vacation. She said she was unloading suitcases from her car. 

Who’s using my neighbor’s car? The answer: your neighbor.

Oops 

A Saxon Woods Road resident Aug. 23 told police he placed his Nikon camera on the back of his wife’s car; unaware of the camera, she drove away and the camera fell off. He said he looked for it but didn’t find it. A report was made to document his loss

The camera is totally shot A man put his Nikon on his wife’s car, and then she drove off. Film at 11.

There’s a cat on my patio 

A caller on Meadow Road Aug. 14 reported there was a cat on her front patio that appeared to be injured. The cat, who didn’t look sick at all to the police, ran off as soon as humans approached it. 

Not a cat-astrophe A supposedly injured cat looked just fine to the police.