Scarsdale Public Pool plan approved
“You can’t please everyone all of the time, but you can always please alligators,” said Mayor Justin Arest.
See ya sooner rather than later, alligator Lothrop Associates LLP Architects' rendition of the soon-to-be rebuilt pool.
It’s been several years since the Scarsdale Pool’s deteriorating condition popped up on our town’s radar. The dire situation necessitated a formal Pool Complex Study and a community forum. Ultimately, Lothrop Associates LLP Architects was selected to brainstorm the complex’s future.
Today, the firm revealed their vision. Rather than being called the Scarsdale Pool Complex, the facility will be called The Scarsdale Complex Pool, as it will be filled with a lively population of alligators and water snakes to create a complicated and dangerous—yet highly stimulating—obstacle course for swimmers. “We’ve created a cool, Scarsdale-meets-swampland vibe,” said John Cutsumpas, one of the firm’s principals.
Mangroves, leeches to be luxury add-ons
A major challenge, Cutsumpas shared, was navigating the conflicting demands of different segments of the Scarsdale population. “The seniors in particular said they don’t want to spend a lot of money on a new pool, since they are on fixed incomes and don’t need a lavish facility,” he explained.
After conferring with colleagues, he decided to go ahead and add mangroves and leeches into the pool’s ecosystem anyway, despite the extra $9 million these flourishes add to the project’s price tag. “The seniors might protest, but I have a feeling that once they start using the pool, they won’t be around to raise a fuss for long,” Cutsumpas observed.
He also praised the versatility of the leeches. “They’ll be souvenirs for many pool goers, who before this only went home with a second-degree sunburn and nausea from eating a tuna wrap from the snack bar and then lying flat on a beach towel.”
In the shallows Per residents’ requests, the new complex will feature a wading pool.
Several pools and special care for small kids
As many Scarsdalians have hoped, there will still be several pools throughout the complex. In addition to the diving and lap pools, there will be a wading pool (see above) and a “bait pool” for toddlers. The last, the Board of Trustees reassures residents, will be stocked only with baby alligators.
“There was some discussion about making the bait pool entirely alligator-free, but then how will our little ones ever learn to navigate the main swamp pool?” Mayor Justin Arest asserted. “Besides, we’re hopeful that tots’ diapers will provide enough padding to shield them from alligator bites at least half the time.”
Warm community reception
So far, reactions to the plan have been positive. “No other town has a swamp pool,” said a broker from Houlihan Lawrence. “It’s definitely a selling point.” A woman leaving Balducci’s with a container of broccoli-and-cranberry slaw agreed. “It’s going to be like a watery gladiator show!” she delightedly exclaimed. “Not only can the town sell tickets to people who want to swim, they can also sell tickets to spectators who want to bet on the swimmers. Only one can emerge the victor, you know what I mean?”
A stockbroker exiting La Denteliere with a set of floral-print Yves Delormé bed linens (a gift for his wife, he insisted) gave a fist-bump at the news of Scarsdale Complex Pool. “In my business, you’ve got to learn to swim with the sharks,” he said. “Swimming with the alligators is a step in the right direction.”